That Loving, Light Feeling

Tonight was one of those nights where the word exercise is the equivalent of a reserved fiery pit in hell for one, let alone the act of going through with the workout despite this. Luckily for me, I am one of those people that can read, albeit much slower than normal, while pumping away on the elliptical and that distracted me for two good 10 minute stretches of time so it wasn't as painful as it could have been otherwise. I only ended up with the additional 10 minutes, to complete my half hour, of countdown watching of those little digital numbers. However, in one of the lapses when my vision was becoming blurred from essentially hopping while reading, I realized that I'm so freaking light compared to before! I am by no means a light person quite yet, but I think tonight is one of the few times that I can actually feel the huge weight difference when doing something. It's quite a heady feeling really. It's difficult to describe the feeling but the closest thing would be removing a heavy backpack and doing an activity you do regularly with the backpack on. It's an incredible feeling of agility. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I do now that just blow me away in how different it feels from sex to how I can curl my legs when lying down (yes I know it sounds strange) to how bony I feel in some places (especially in contrast to all that padding I had distributed evenly over my entire body); but it's rare to have these moments that catch you off guard when your body physically remembers being a way and feeling a way during an activity at your previous weight and at that moment you can feel the startling difference as if you are making the comparison right now between the two bodies simultaneously.

This little discovery also led me to further wondering about future things during those long 10 minutes. The most prominent thought being how difficult or long will it take me to adjust to a new body (one I've never had at a small size ever)? There are little things everyone does automatically, without true conscious thought, to adjust for our bodies in different spaces (for example: being overweight, you automatically size up a hallway and turn sideways to go down where necessary when faced with the situation), and I wonder how my subconscious will change to compensate for the "new" situations. More accurately, will I be thin and still turning to go down those same hallways? Or will my subconscious be quick to adjust and turn less each time until it's not necessary? Curious questions to me even though I realize they aren't consequential. Something to ponder nonetheless.