Funky Times

Today I'm in a funk really. I'm feeling down and I'm having a hard time reconciling the image(s) in the mirror. When I look in the mirror naked or in my PJs, I see a lot of flaws and I see a never-ending windy road to perfection in my future. However, when I get ready and get all dressed up I see a better, never perfect, version of me and I feel pretty good. The difference in the two is making me a little crazy. So I find myself going over my calories a little with a bite here and there and I also find myself exercising more and more and being quite strict on my "minimum" calorie burned expectation. I don't know how to ease up on myself because I also expect, despite trying not to, significant losses of weight on a weekly basis. I'm very conflicted over this and not sure how to cope with it.

One decision I have to make is to go see my doctor since I've lost so much weight since I last saw her and I want to find a nutritionist to talk to. Forget the shrink, I already know I'm nuts :p.