Wednesday, December 28, 2005

New Years Excitement

I'm really excited about the upcoming New Year. On Monday, my hubby and I bought some tickets to go to the Dask Productions New Years Eve Ball at the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel and it looks like it will be a fantastic time! Both of us are excited to spend an elaborate Eve for the first time ever of this scale. What makes me so happy is that he's just as excited as I am about it! :)

I was planning on buying a new jacket, because I'm always freezing, but today I put on one of my husband's jackets (mind you he's thin and much smaller than I am) and it fits! lol I was surprised. I can't button it but it fits my back and arms just fine and it looks good. Good news is that I won't be shelling out more money for a new jacket (I already got new shoes to go with my pretty tiny evening purse). I just feel fantastic. It really is all about moods isn't it?

Only thing that is unfortunate is that my sister, best friend, and sister's-in-law can't attend with us. It would be so great to ring in the New Year together.

Monday, December 26, 2005

After Christmas

Well, interesting weekend. We had a successful evening on Christmas Eve and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. The food I made was really good for the most part. Only a couple of things were off in my opinion (the cookies mainly), but overall was good. So much work though! Anyhow, I'm happy with the gifts I received :) but I was so excited about gifts given this year too.

On Christmas Day we went to my sister-in-law's house and had a great lunch and good times together. Both nights my other sister-in-law made bank playing Texas Hold 'Em. lol not good for the pocket! She now loves the game though ahaha.

Lastly, any signs of a regiment kind of went out the window and it didn't go as planned for me. Plus I'm still dehydrated because I didn't have much water this weekend. Oh well, this week is a new week!

I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

More Christmas Talk

I'm still very excited about Christmas even with all it's unusual turns this year. I keep coming across all these recipes I want to try. I'm definitely a crazy woman. I've got tons of vegetable recipes that I want to make but I'm limiting myself to 2, or 3 actually, lol. I hope everything turns out well.

Tomorrow night my best friend is coming over and I'm really looking forward to that as well. All in all I'm a happy camper.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Hurdle Overcome

This week I'm feeling much better. After my weigh in today it's official that I have less than half-way to go to reach my weight loss goal. I've lost 91 lbs and have 90 to go. This has really helped my motivation and energy levels. I'm pumped up for the second half and in the mood to exercise and I'm just feeling much better overall. Funny thing how the mind works really. I'm just glad the funk is over for now. /cheer

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Romantic Christmas Dinner for Two

Saving the special post for last, my hubby and I went to our Christmas dinner at a french restaurant we've never tried before and we had a great time. One of the best parts were actually seeing most people eating there dressed up. I hate going to nice places and seeing people in T-shirts or sweats. It just cheapens the experience. So it was great and unusual. The menu was on a chalkboard...I thought they had run out of menus or something but no, it's how they do things lol. Food tasted great. Only one glitch...I ordered the prime rib with veggies and figured I'd be fine. That is until they plopped a half cow in front of me! It was 32 oz!!!!! Not specified on the menu and definetly not expected, it wasn't pleasant eating on a plate with so much food on it really. I had about 6 oz (8 max not too sure) so I didn't go crazy but it was unnerving. However, it was a special event as it is every year and I'm glad we went to try something new :).

Christmas Excitement

Before getting into the title of this post, this weekend was an interesting one. My husband and I went to my sister-in-law's new house to help out and be there with them with some deliveries and it was pretty fun. I'm loving some of the appliances! hehe good time, far drive, but good time. Only hitch was that darn oatmeal raisin jumbo cookie that called my name and I answered the call..I'll work it off in a few minutes.

Anyhow, back to the excitement. Usually all three of my husband's sisters and their respective others come over to our house along with my parents and sister but this year was looking a little grim due to 2 of the sister's not making it. However, we've now got a hodgepodge of people coming and it's just very exciting! A first for us and hopefully to be followed by many more! This years roster so far has my parents and sister, my sister's best friend, my sister's new beau, one of my sister-in-law's with her man, my mom's cousin with his daughter, a co-worker/friend of my husband's and we'll see who else ;). I love having people gather and have good times!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Not Much

It's been a couple of days and not much is going on. I've had some regular frustrations with going-ons at work but other than that things are unchanged. I'm looking forward to our annual Christmas dinner for two with my husband :). Aside from that every night I get home I have a big smile. Last week he set up the outside lights on the house by himself as a surprise to me and every time I pull up it's like I got a present, hehe :). Always a great ending to a long day.

On another note, I just checked my messages when I got to work this morning and my best friend's daughter, she's 2, left me a message about how she uses the potty now! It was so adorable lol. Great way to start the morning.

I've come to the conclusion that it's the cold that has me feeling so lazy. I've been incredibly lazy for the last 2 weeks and it's just annoying the heck out of me. Ah well, this too shall pass.

I hope everyone is doing well out there!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Friends and Change

I've come to the conclusion that some people never really change. One of my best friends for many years now, whom I truly care about, has gotten in contact with me again and I would love to have her in my life like the close friend she was for so many happy years, but I'm wondering if it will work the way I'd like it to. We all change, no doubt about that, but the main thing that I'm not feeling from her is just being happy in life. Whatever you choose to do with yourself and your life should make you feel good and that radiates from the person. I just don't see that being the case for her and it's a sad thing. I didn't see that being the case 2 years ago either while we were speaking. We'll see how all goes, I do care deeply for her, I'm just hoping that we're able to be friends for each other and not a one-sided deal. It's also important for me for there to be positivity and happiness in any of my friendships or relationships because it makes me feel good and just improves my quality of life. I'm hoping that's there too.

Brrrrrr...Is It Always This Cold??

Sheesh, I'm always freezing now. I'm wondering if it's just me or if this winter is much colder than usual. I've always been the one to never have the heater on in winter, wearing a sweater would undoubtedly make me hot during the day, and just overall hot all the time. Now I'm freezing all the time! I'm the first to turn up the heater in the morning, I'm layering up in clothing just to be at a comfortable temperature, and I'm rarely hot. Very odd and new to me and not altogether pleasant I may add.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Excited

I'm really excited because my favorite aunt (in Argentina) is confirmed to come out on Feb. 2nd for about 3 weeks. I haven't seen her in a couple of years and I miss her. So this is really great news to me. I'm hoping to plan something out to have some fun together on my days off.

In other exciting news I'm really looking forward to my husband and I's annual pre-Christmas romantic dinner :). We're going to try out this French restaurant close to home and I'm looking forward to it. I love keeping traditions alive. I still remember our first Christmas dinner out that we started because both of our families celebrate Christmas Eve so we wouldn't be together. We went to this restaurant overlooking the valley which we ended up having our wedding reception at :). Good memories and always good times!

Speaking of traditions, another one that we have is to contribute one special ornament each to our tree every year. While we still haven't purchased this year's ornament, my best friend brought me an early Christmas gift and it's a personalized ornament with two chic women all cute with matching hats and personalized with our names and best friends forever on it. That's one of the most thoughtful gifts! I'm glad she thought of it, it's just perfect.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Shh...It Must Be Surgery

lol, I got a little gossip tidbit that just made me laugh. My mom's friend's daughter is about my size now and she's seen me at my start weight, etc. Anyhow, she gets bugged a bit to lose weight herself and after the before mentioned birthday she tells her mother that it's impossible for me to have lost all this weight with NS alone. The theory is that I must have had gastric bypass surgery and just don't want anyone to know, can't be otherwise. My mom's friend answers that she doesn't believe that because I would have at least taken a few days off work to recuperate. LOL! I guess it's a good thing for the loss to be significant enough in a short period of time to cause this kind of gossip.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Blah

I've been having such issues all week regarding staying in my 1200 calorie budget range and wanting to exercise. I don't know what it is but I really need to get myself out of this funk. You wouldn't think going from 1500 calories (and doing it very well) to 1200 calories would be such a big deal, but I'm having such a hard time with it. I've also been dragging ass to workout all week. I still managed to get in 4 days but I just don't feel good about how I've done this week. It's too easy to just give in and that drives me crazy.

I'm vowing to myself to change this week and keep going strong. Get over the funk and the crazy hangups and just be smart about what I choose. I'll probably be making my own food using turkey we made tonight for the most part of the week and that should help reduce the overall calorie intake. NS foods are high in calorie compared to many comparable alternatives. Continuing on!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Snake

Very interesting to me. This is my chinese zodiac sign, but keep in mind not everything written here applies to me lol.

SNAKE 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001

Snakes have always been the seducers of human beings. If you know the story of "The White Snake", you will understand what I mean. In reality, Snake people are born charming and popular. Snakes are spotlight magnets, and they will not be ignored. Peer group attention and public recognition are the least of what he expects. Yet Snakes are never noisy or deliberately outspoken, and they have have excellent manners.

Unlike the Snake who seduced Eve in to sin. the astrological Snake, is not a devil, not even a little demon. The Snake is a nice oversexed normal human being. Determined to follow through anything he undertakes to the bitter end, the Snake detests being left in the air. He makes his decisions quickly and firmly.

Most people are secretly or hopelessly in love with Snakes. Gather those frustrated folk you know and most likely, they are probably in love with a Snake. Irresistible as they seem, the Snake never wastes time in idle gossip. He thinks often and deeply. He is an intellectual, a philosophers, a cerebral person. Snake people rely heavily on first impressions, on their own feelings, on their sympathies, rather than on facts, on the advice and opinions on others. He seems to have a kind of sixth sense in this way.

Snakes are a bit tight when it comes to lending money, though his sympathy for others often leads him to offer help. The fatal flaw in his character is, in fact, a tendency to exaggerate - in helping friends as with everything else. If he does somebody a favor, he becomes possessive towards them in an odd way.

Another big flaw in a Snake's character is that, they are capable of biggie lies. White lies, true lies, whatever they call them, though they don't lie often, they do lie when they feel they can get away from it.

In money matters, the Snake has good luck: he doesn't have to worry - he'll always be able to lay his hand on money when he needs it. Generally, Snakes are careful but generous with friends and family. The Snake should stick to careers that won't involve him in any risk - even the risk of working too hard, for to tell the truth, the Snake is a bit lazy.
In love, the Snake male is romantic and charming. He has a sense of humor and the female is usually beautiful and successful. but if a Snake chooses a partner, he'll be jealous and possessive - even if he no longer loves her. Rejection is the worst blow his delicate ego can suffer. The Snake must be received, welcomed, accepted and approved by those with whom he comes in contact. They need a lot of security.

Personality-wise, Snakes are not people who can be easily ignored. They possess a strong, charismatic presence and a charm which has been described by some astrologers as "bewitching" or "beguiling." With a penetrating eye and attention to the desires of their conquests, they're known as experts in the art of seduction.

People born during the Year of the Snake are said to be endowed with wisdom and with deep philosophical understanding. They are born thinkers who excel in finding solutions to complex problems. In matters of business they can be shrewd, biding their time in making a deal only to strike like lightning and make a killing when they judge the moment is right. Thus in life, the majority of Snakes are financially successful and generally lucky with money; their fortunes very much depend on their careful and considered judgment in financial affairs and on their intuitive feelings in business negotiations. These are clever, intelligent people who take time to formulate their ideas and opinions. Even when they are at their laziest, their minds are working overtime, laying their schemes and hatching their plots for the future.

Snakes are wise, philosophical, calm, and understanding. They are receptive and physically alluring, often fickle. Success and fame come easily to Snakes. They can be treacherous creatures who delight in intrigue and who wouldn't think twice about double-crossing someone in order to save their own skins. Their calculating natures will never forgive or forget a slight. They can be lazy and self-indulgent. Their innate elegance can at times be ostentatious.
Subtle, secretive, elusive and enigmatic, there is an element of the mysterious that surrounds the Snake personality. Perhaps this is due to their intuitive faculties, or perhaps it is a consequence of their strong inner spirituality which can manifest itself in an interest in religion, mysticism or the occult.

A Snake can be counted on to carry a project through to the end. Their decisions are quick and firm, but they are formed by first impressions, on sympathies and feelings logically assembled in their minds -- rather than by simple facts alone. The Snake will fight and plod for anything they believe in and allow nothing to stand in his or her way. At ease in all circumstances and possessing uncommon self-discipline, the Snake achieves great heights and honors in his or her career, enjoying the well deserved respect of an admiring entourage.

Snakes are a bit tight when it comes to lending money, though their sympathy for others often leads them to offer help. The help will be in kind rather than in cash, however; the Snake is freer with himself than he is with his money! The fatal flaw in the Snake's character is, in fact, a tendency to exaggerate -- in helping friends as with everything else. If a Snake does somebody a favor, he becomes possessive toweard them in an odd way, so that finally he is more a hindrance than a help. The snake's serpentine nature leads him to coil and cling to the point where he can suffocate the object of his attention. Think twice then, before you accept an offer of help from a Snake; you could regret it!

In money matters, the Snake has good luck -- he simply doesn't have to worry about it. He will always be able to get money when he needs it, and he feels this so strongly that it has never bothered him at all. Once he has got it, though, he's a little stingy; that's why he never lends. In old age he can become quite miserly.

Snakes are notoriously good looking and like to project the best image of themselves that they can. Both men and women of the sign have elegant and stylish taste in clothes; the men are sexy and always have a bit of the dandy about them, and the ladies are seductive and rave over smart accessories. Whether in looks or in circumstances, Snakes simply have a magical knack of making the very best out of the most mediocre.

In Japan, those wishing to pay a woman a compliment and acknowledge her beauty are accustomed to say: "My dear, you are a real snake!" -- a pleasantry most likely to be misinterpreted in the West.

As with real snakes, which hibernate in the cold season and come out when it's warm, Snake people shine in the hot months. And the Snake born at midday in the heat of a tropical summer will be happier than one born in the middle of an icy night in winter. The destiny of those born under this sign is so sensitive to the inclemencies of climate that the almanac warns Snakes born on a stormy day that they will face danger throughout their lives.

The Sensual Snake

The Snake personality is described as careful, and when it comes to the choice of a partner these people are infinitely selective. For them, only the best will do. Elegance will be one of the first attractions, but so too is good breeding and delicate manners. When they find the partner of their dreams they will brook no opposition, allow nothing to stand in their way, until they win the heart of the object of their desire. Having won their prize, they then become possessive and jealous, fearful that it should slip out of their hands. Deeply passionate, these are demanding lovers, highly sensual creatures, sexy in the extreme. Lady Snakes are ultra-feminine -- sultry, exotic creatures, femmes fatales in every sense. Success and power will turn her on and she will probably make a beeline for the richest and most influential person she can find.

Those born under the sign of the Snake often tend to be afflicted with a wandering eye, especially the Snake males who delight in women. Unfortunately, both sexes tend to complicate their lives with extramarital affairs. If they can struggle against this trait and succeed in channelling their affections inwards towards their own families, they will gain enormous serenity and inner harmony in their lives. If the Snake settles down, he or she can become a marvelous parent, creating a calm and stable atmosphere for their offspring.

The Snake will often have a large family -- for him, it's just one more way of making sure that his wife has no time to play around like he does.

The Rabbit, Ram and Dog are on good terms with Snakes, but the Rat and the Rooster annoy them. A firm alliance can be achieved with the Horse. The Snake will be happy with the Ox, who is content to be overrun by this family on condition that the Ox is always accepted as boss -- a role that the Snake willingly concedes in the home. The Boar should beware of the Snake who will impose upon him, ensnare and immobilize him, while the Snake wallows in his own faults, knowing that he can get away with it.

June is the month of the Snake. The time of the Snake is from 9:00 a.m. to 10:59 a.m.; their direction of orientation is south-southeast. The Snake's color is red.

Inner and Outer Images

Tonight I went to my dad's surprise birthday party and I didn't realize that most of those people I haven't seen since my parent's wedding in July, exactly one week after starting Nurtrisystem (which will be my before pics when I post them next week hopefully). So I was quite taken aback by the reaction to my new self! I'm not one of those people who dread the attention, in fact I revel in it so it was quite an exciting thing how everyone noticed and jaws just dropped. When asked how much I have lost so far and telling 85 lbs it hit me just how big a number that really is. I really have come a long ways, I'm almost halfway to my goal and when I reach my goal I will have lost more than half of my total weight; I will have lost an entire person. So astonishing and incredibly invigorating. I feel proud really.

It's funny but I don't think I was ever as resigned to being incredibly fat as I thought I was initially. Even when I dream. No matter what weight I've been at (fat or fatter) whenever I have dreamt of myself it's always a fit woman, not too thin nor necessarily the most incredible body, but always fit and sexy. I mention this because it explains what I've really been feeling lately: my outside is finally starting to look how I feel inside. I'm finally beginning (I'm not there yet definitely) to feel that how I look on the outside is coming closer to matching the inner me. When I hit my goal I think I will feel much more free and capable of expressing myself completely with all my colors ;).

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Happy Birthday Dad!

I want to send birthday wishes to my dad :). He'll never read this because he's a little technologically challenged, but the sentiments are here anyhow :). We're having a little surprise get-together for him tonight and I hope he enjoys it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Knots

Really, how many knots can a back have for pete's sake??? For the past few weeks I've felt tons of little knots on my shoulder and they flippin' hurt! Ah well, I've submitted my request to Santa for Glenn Ivy Spa gift certificates and if he doesn't come through I will take matters into my own hand! You would think with some of the upper body workouts I've been putting my body through the knots would just "undo" themselves but in reality I think it makes them worse lol.

On a complete tangent, Kayah, I promise to post before and current pictures when they fix my faster computer here at work :). Hopefully by next week.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Happiness for Others

To start this post I'd like to thank you Kayah for your kind words and constant reassurance! I'm happy for many people close to me. For one, I'm so glad to see the positive emotions that are radiating from my dear friend Kayah, my best friend Heather, and my wonderful sister Nyleen.

Kayah, I'm so happy to see you on a m0re upbeat note lately! You've inspired me so much that I hate when you feel down and I feel powerless to change that for you. I'm glad you're finding your happy place :).

As for my best friend, Heather, I'm so glad to finally see you with someone who treats you the way you deserve! I hope it works out wonderfully, as it has been, to be the person you want to be with and vice versa. It really trips me out that you and my sister are hitting this lucky streak at the same time lol. I think you deserve the best and more importantly you need to be aware of the fact that you are only deserving of the best!

And lastly, but definetly not least, my lovely sister has finally found someone that knows how great she is! I'm happy that you have found someone to treat you like the princess that you are! With the added bonus that I like him too :).

That's all I have time to write at the moment because my computer keeps crashing on me, but I wanted to let you wonderful people know how much joy you bring to my life :).

Sunday, December 04, 2005

That Loving, Light Feeling

Tonight was one of those nights where the word exercise is the equivalent of a reserved fiery pit in hell for one, let alone the act of going through with the workout despite this. Luckily for me, I am one of those people that can read, albeit much slower than normal, while pumping away on the elliptical and that distracted me for two good 10 minute stretches of time so it wasn't as painful as it could have been otherwise. I only ended up with the additional 10 minutes, to complete my half hour, of countdown watching of those little digital numbers. However, in one of the lapses when my vision was becoming blurred from essentially hopping while reading, I realized that I'm so freaking light compared to before! I am by no means a light person quite yet, but I think tonight is one of the few times that I can actually feel the huge weight difference when doing something. It's quite a heady feeling really. It's difficult to describe the feeling but the closest thing would be removing a heavy backpack and doing an activity you do regularly with the backpack on. It's an incredible feeling of agility. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I do now that just blow me away in how different it feels from sex to how I can curl my legs when lying down (yes I know it sounds strange) to how bony I feel in some places (especially in contrast to all that padding I had distributed evenly over my entire body); but it's rare to have these moments that catch you off guard when your body physically remembers being a way and feeling a way during an activity at your previous weight and at that moment you can feel the startling difference as if you are making the comparison right now between the two bodies simultaneously.

This little discovery also led me to further wondering about future things during those long 10 minutes. The most prominent thought being how difficult or long will it take me to adjust to a new body (one I've never had at a small size ever)? There are little things everyone does automatically, without true conscious thought, to adjust for our bodies in different spaces (for example: being overweight, you automatically size up a hallway and turn sideways to go down where necessary when faced with the situation), and I wonder how my subconscious will change to compensate for the "new" situations. More accurately, will I be thin and still turning to go down those same hallways? Or will my subconscious be quick to adjust and turn less each time until it's not necessary? Curious questions to me even though I realize they aren't consequential. Something to ponder nonetheless.

Today

Today has been a very busy day at work but it just flew right by! Incredible how quickly a day can pass really. I feel really good though! I did get a chance to practice bitchiness today too lol. There was a customer today that decided to be unreasonable and overly demanding, not to mention patronizing, which I asked to leave if she didn't like what she was being offered. "Take it or leave it!" followed by turning on my heal and continuing on with other people. Some people deserve to be treated like shit really, but I wasn't as mean as she deserved which she should be eternally grateful for. Still, great day all in all.

I've started reading Julie & Julia by Julie Powell where she cooks all of Julia Child's cookbook recipes (524 of them) in 365 days in her tiny apartment kitchen as part of a figuring out what to do with her life project. Hence, she is now writing this book which so far is very engrossing and interesting. I really enjoy her literary style. Interesting challenge too :) but I'm definetly not up to it lol.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Christmas Shopping

I'm happy to report that I feel ahead of the game this year. Normally I shop online (definetly the way to go if you want to spend less overall), but this year I went to the day after Thanksgiving craziness and essentially finished up my shopping yesterday. Only a couple of items to go but I'm excited that it's only December 3rd and I'm pretty much done. Gotta love the excuse to go shopping that Christmas gives you lol. Now if only I could figure out what to get my father...

Bitchiness Update

So I have come to realize (I think I knew this already) that it's very difficult for me to be bitchy or pretentious with people. I went to the mall yesterday and I got great service and all but I didn't practice once. I wasn't unreasonable or pushy for more than I was getting... I must get better at this.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Finding and Nurturing My Inner Bitch

I hereby vow to myself to become an aggressive bitch. My new mission is to cultivate the aggressive bitchiness that I need in order to become a force to reckon with in all my business dealings. All the unfortunate empathy that I have and the embarassment I may feel will be kept under lock and key and I will prevail. I'm tired of being taken for a fool because I am nice and I do empathize with the person on the other side of the counter or phone all too well. This may take some time, but everyday I vow to make improvements and forget about empathy. I will be taken seriously and I will not be taken advantage of!

The most difficult part for me will likely be balance. I tend to go at things full speed ahead and I have to ensure that I don't actually become a bitch. I just need to be able to be a bitch and get what I want and deserve. I want the upper hand.

This is my new goal and vow to myself. It is the only way I will stop feeling like a fool when others try to take advantage of me for being empathetic and nice. There's no place for that in the workplace and I am no fool.